Darrell Davis

Monkeys In Trees

As Personal Development writings go, not a whole lot deals with the challenges of being a success or of doing things in the public eye. Most of the information is focused on how to become successful or how to achieve your dreams. But what do you do when you become a success or you achieve at a level that brings down petty jealousy and envy on your head?

The one thing you can count on when you jump out there and try to accomplish great or even not so great things, is that somebody is going to have something negative to say. It happens without fail, no matter who you are, saint or sinner, the monkeys in the trees, who are up there where it's safe, will start throwing crap at you.

I deal with a lot of young people who are doing things. And one of the most talked about topics among them is the "Haters," the name for the ones who are always trying to run you down! I advise the young, and everyone, to do this: stay focused on your goals and your plan. These haters would love nothing more than to throw you off your game so you end up like them- angry and frustrated with life and going nowhere. They want your company.

The other important thing to remember is not to waist time and energy responding to them. Part of the enjoyment they get out of acting like a monkey is upsetting your happiness. Don't let them. Learn to just smile and keep it moving. Without your energy, they have nothing to feed on. Just get out there, kick ass and live your dreams.

Obama and Ted Kennedy

I watched the service for Ted Kennedy Saturday and must say I was very, very impressed. The scope of mourners was itself impressive, but the political spectrum of attendees was nothing short of amazing. When a man or woman is laid to rest, the mourners tell a tale of that persons life as compelling as the eulogy. Ted Kennedy was a great politician, if not a flawed man. But that comes with being human- flaws. Rest in peace, Ted, our champion.

As Barack Obama took to the microphone, I sat by silently to hear what Americas first Black President had to say about a man who did more for Black people than many African American leaders have. Obama did not disappoint. But here is the thing. His eulogy of Ted Kennedy was extremely impressive. It was in a way as much about Barack as it was about Ted.

It is an understatement to say that Barack Obama is an impressive man. We need to understand that we didn't elect a Black president as much as we elected an impressive human being. Let's face it. In America, it isn't enough to be Black and intelligent. It isn't enough to be Black and charismatic. No, you have to be all those things and more. Obama is quite possible the greatest politician of our time, surpassing Bill Clinton and others. That does not mean I like all of his policies. I don't. In fact, I have real issues with a lot of what he has done so far as president. But that in no way takes away from the greatness of the man as politician.

My point in saying all of this is that Barack can learn much from Ted Kennedy about standing up for what is right. He can do much more for this country if he leads with his principles instead of his politics. What are you willing to sacrifice for greatness is the question Obama has not yet answered. Many have given their lives in the cause of human rights. Ted Kennedy stood up for Black people even during the difficult and lonely days of the Reagan years. Can Barack be a similar champion?  Well, we just said good bye to a man who can serve as a model of political principle and sacrifice. Ted and Barack; The King is dead, long live the King!

The Best Medicine

When I became ill a few years ago I had an experience that can best be described as spiritual. Although I touched on it in past writings, there was one aspect of this experience I purposely left out, but am going to share with you today.

First I want to talk a little bit about ownership. You see, I got sick, became homeless and broke, but didn't own any of it at the time. These were not "things happening to me" as much as "things I did to myself." At first, I was very much the victim. The problem with that is you abdicate all power over your life when you play that role. Others control you and your life. You are powerless.

When we own a problem or situation; when we take responsibility for it, we empower ourselves. We are no longer victims, but powerful beings taking control of our lives. No one did anything to me, so no one can stop me from getting out of this mess! I am in control.

And there came a point when I saw my home phone and cable tv get turned off. There came a time when the electricity was turned off. And finally- eviction.  In time, I didn't have money for food or my medication. And now the part I haven't shared before.

 I sat in a friends restaurant one night- he was kind enough to let me sleep there after he closed- thinking  about my plight and how I got here. And suddenly I started laughing my ass off! There are those of you who will argue I cracked up. But I am here to tell you I didn't. I was laughing because I realized I had conquered the fear of poverty. Here I was, knee deep in it and realized it wasn't so bad.

Now I am not saying I was having a good time or that I didn't mind- because I did mind. I am simple saying that the reality I was now in was not as bad as fear of the unknown made it out to be.  I further reasoned I did it to myself and will get myself out of this mess.

No matter the situation, it can be fixed if you only find it within yourself to own it.  You may not see the humor in a given tragedy, indeed, there may not be any. But you can experience the light of reason that says "this is my problem and I will solve it."

Back From Vacation

God knows the human mind and body was not made to function in the unnatural world of the rat race. A job or career can easily take over your whole existence. Even your values and social calender can be dominated by a stressful work load. We need to be mindful of this.

I firmly believe in rest and relaxation. Vacations are crucial but you can also take breaks and three -day- weekends. Remember that rest is an important part of work. It is good to be home.

On Vacation

What else is there to say? See you in a few weeks.

The Death of Michael Jackson

I still can't believe it. Michael Jackson dead? Michael was larger than life. He was more force of nature than man. His picture hangs in the homes of royal families and it hangs in mud huts. Dead? I can't quite grasp that yet.

Still, in a certain way, Michael is very much alive. His death is real, but so is his legacy. As much as some in this society who have yet learned to relate in a positive way to people of color try, they can't tarnish his memory. Dispite the fact that he was the greatest entertainer the world has ever seen, some will try and remind you of the money problems, the drugs and the scandals. I am not trying to diminish or shrug off any of them. But the fact is, an artist is defined by his or her art. Unfortunately, the mental imbalances that make one great in one area, often makes one deficient in another. Michael was no different in that respect.

But let's keep it real. In a society that was founded on white supremacy, any person of color who rises to the heights of "worlds best" has always been targeted with unfair criticism and facts taken out of context. Racist America just simple will not allow a Black to represent the best.

As my friend Sean pointed out to me, they never let a Black stand alone at the top. If you say Tiger Woods, they say Jack Nicholas, if you say Muhummud Ali, they say Rocky Marciano.

Michael Jackson was a tragic figure not as much because of allegations against him that he was acquitted of in court, as what was done to him. And why is it that when O.J., Puffy or Michael wins in court, the media says they "got off" instead of "innocent"?

Michael Jackson was snatched from not only his childhood, but any semblance of normalcy in order to make record companies billions of dollars. He was chewed up and spit out a sick man both mentally and physically. And instead of owning it, they ridicule him.

Thankfully millions of people around the world love Michael Jackson and his legacy will be preserved by that love. He gave us so much in life and now in death, will continue to give. Many however will continue to take from him. They will exploit his memory for even more money, as Michael dances his way into heaven.

Obama and Smoking

President Obama is without doubt a great man. This statement has nothing to do with whether or not you agree with his politics. Greatness rises above political views. This is a man that has shown to be extremely intelligent and disciplined. Yet, the one habit that he is a slave to is smoking.

Our President just can't seem to kick the habit. It is without question one of the hardest addictions to break. I don't know if he will kick for good or not, but if you find yourself struggling with tobacco, you can find some guaranteed help over here.

Known As...

In the last post I raised the issue of who I am? I have written close to 150 posts on this site and purposely stayed away from too much of my personal side. I did that basically because I felt for a long time this blog wasn't about me; it was about personal development. Yet, I realized you can't separate the two. Especially in my case where it is all about my personal journey from sick and homeless to where I am now- healthy and successful. At least successful by my standards and in reality, that is the only standard that matters.

That being said, before I talk about "who I am" I need to mention "what I am known as." To start, if you ever have the chance to visit Westchester County, New York- more specifically, a small city named Peekskill, you will be in my hometown. It is here that I was born and raised. I have lived in Peekskill most of my life. I love the city and it's people.

In that town, I am known by the media and residents as a radio host and a community activist. Still, some call me troublemaker. Depending on your perspective, all of those descriptions- and more- are true ( better to say accurate).

I have had a long and respected career in the arenas I am known for, but that is not who I am. Let us start by saying I am a man. And as a man, I take on certain responsibilities to family, community and society. Don't mistake this to mean I hold sexist views as to the place of a man or woman in society. No, for me being a man means dealing with chauvinistic views that infect us as part of being socialized into this society.

To me, being a man simply means taking on certain responsibilities, such as teaching your daughters how to relate positively to men. We must cultivate loving relationships with our daughters (as well as sons) and talk to them about male/female relationships. We must forever be on the stage and show respect to woman at all times. No "B" words or demeaning jokes. There is much more that goes with this. You must explore your relationships and make adjustment where necessary.

Being a man (to me) also means washing dishes and cooking. Yes, my sons must see that there is no such thing as woman's work! And we must also talk to our boys about showing respect to woman. We must teach them gender specific skills, like shaving and safer sex practices (hard as it is to deal with, the same holds true for the girls!).

Of course there is much, much more to being a man- like getting the love I need-  but I wanted you to get an idea about who I am. I am a man who happens to do radio and Human rights.

Who Am I

I guess that is the million dollar question for most of us. I don't ask this in the metaphysical sense. I am really asking the question about me. I have been writing about Personal Development and other topics for some time now and really have not gotten too deep into who I am. That is all about to change.

The reason for this change is to help the readers better understand my journey from sick and homeless to where I am now. After all, what does "sick and homeless" really tell you about me? How did I get that way?  There is a lot to cover in there. And we will do just that in the upcoming articles. Of course, I reserve the right to leave out some juicy info ;-)

At Peace or Empty

Are you living your dreams?  Do you get excited in the morning in anticipation of the new day and possibilities?  Are you at peace with life?  Or, are you empty?  A lot of questions, I know.

There is a world of difference between being at peace and being empty and many people don't know the difference.  Your life needs to have some passions and enthusiasms. Just because you think you are relatively stress free doesn't mean you are.  A lack of significant stresses  can actually  be emptiness.

That is why I raised so many questions at the beginning of this post. Often when we think we are at peace, we are really feeling empty. It could be your relationship, your job or your career.  If you are not feeling alive about these things, you are not stress free, you are empty.