When I became ill a few years ago I had an experience that can best be described as spiritual. Although I touched on it in past writings, there was one aspect of this experience I purposely left out, but am going to share with you today.
First I want to talk a little bit about ownership. You see, I got sick, became homeless and broke, but didn't own any of it at the time. These were not "things happening to me" as much as "things I did to myself." At first, I was very much the victim. The problem with that is you abdicate all power over your life when you play that role. Others control you and your life. You are powerless.
When we own a problem or situation; when we take responsibility for it, we empower ourselves. We are no longer victims, but powerful beings taking control of our lives. No one did anything to me, so no one can stop me from getting out of this mess! I am in control.
And there came a point when I saw my home phone and cable tv get turned off. There came a time when the electricity was turned off. And finally- eviction. In time, I didn't have money for food or my medication. And now the part I haven't shared before.
I sat in a friends restaurant one night- he was kind enough to let me sleep there after he closed- thinking about my plight and how I got here. And suddenly I started laughing my ass off! There are those of you who will argue I cracked up. But I am here to tell you I didn't. I was laughing because I realized I had conquered the fear of poverty. Here I was, knee deep in it and realized it wasn't so bad.
Now I am not saying I was having a good time or that I didn't mind- because I did mind. I am simple saying that the reality I was now in was not as bad as fear of the unknown made it out to be. I further reasoned I did it to myself and will get myself out of this mess.
No matter the situation, it can be fixed if you only find it within yourself to own it. You may not see the humor in a given tragedy, indeed, there may not be any. But you can experience the light of reason that says "this is my problem and I will solve it."
